There is a great misunderstanding in the field of love these days. Many are confused how to handle what they call love. While some hoard the feeling, others advertise it and yet there are some who smuggle the entire thing called love.
In this post, my aim is to, by scripture, let us know the need for maturity in love. Love as a relationship between yourself and God, then between yourself and your partner.
Love is a feeling, no doubt about that. But there is a duration for the feeling. Because feelings are generated and cannot be consistent over time. Because we generate love, love can also be degenerated. It is very easy to say, “I don’t love you anymore” because the feeling you have for that individual has degenerated.
But for two people to stay together, there is a time that Love ceases to be a feeling and moves into another realm called DECISION. In the realm of decision, you love people no matter what may happen. Because during the time of feeling, it is like a window shopping, and during that window shopping you must have really been certain about the product enough to make a decision to purchase it. If you do not purchase the product, another person will. This same thing applies to love, the feeling of love allows you to pay attention to an individual or a particular person. During that period, you’re trying to get convinced to make a decision for that person, a life-long decision for that matter.
Now, because every relationship has two parties in it, sometimes one person will be ready to make a decision before the other person. Because love is about moving from the realm of feeling into the realm of decision, if one party stays behind, it does not stay in feeling but rather in a realm of indecision.
The realm of indecision is a hard place to find yourself. Because, being indecisive is coupled with insecurity and confusion. The longer you stay in this realm, the longer you’ll remain there.
“For though by this time you ought to be teachers [because of the time you have had to learn these truths], you actually need someone to teach you again the elementary principles of God’s word [from the beginning], and you have come to be continually in need of milk, not solid food. For everyone who lives on milk is [doctrinally inexperienced and] unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a spiritual infant. But solid food is for the [spiritually] mature, whose senses are trained by practice to distinguish between what is morally good and what is evil.”
HEB 5:12-14 AMP
“Because of the time you’ve had to learn these truths”, that’s a profound statement. There is a time given to learn truths. When you want to know whether you want to spend a lifetime with someone, there is a time you must be very conversant with certain truths about this person. Because during that same time, the person is also convincing him/herself. In this period,what keeps two of you together is the feeling.
The moment the time of feeling is elapsed, the decision should be boldly sitting in both parties. If not, then one needs to really work on making a decision as soon as possible. Because the juice for the decision is embedded in the feeling realm and if you leave that realm without a decision, you end up in the realm of indecision.
So the bible verse up there tells us that, we must make an effort to mature, because there is a time frame for which we should become matured in whatever we are doing. There are believers who have been in church for 17 years and they still cry over affliction. At 17 years in Christ, you should rather be consoling other young ones. So there is a time frame for maturity and it exists in love too.
At a point, you must know that your partner still loves you though he hasn’t bought you a birthday gift yet, you must know that your partner adores you though she hasn’t called you yet. At the realm of feeling, we do these things because of the force of feeling, when the feeling wears off, you might not see a lot of calls, gifts, I love yous, and all that. But you must make a decision, that all this while you’ve known this individual, you know he/she loves you and no matter what, you love them back!